|I may never know
||[Aug. 5th, 2008|07:55 am]
As of late I have come to the realization that I may never "figure" myself out. Thinking about this now consumes my life, to the point that staying up for 3 days without ever thinking about laying my head on my pillow has become fairly routine. When I do sleep it seems to be for just a moment, normally in the late afternoon. I am such a night owl and an early bird all in one. I love watching the sunrise in the morning, and I feel that is the only thing that relieves me from all the stress that I seem to feel through the rest of my day. |
People watching has become a new hobby of mine, I wonder if they ever know I'm staring at them. I never mean to be creepy, I guess I think if I stare at them long enough, I will be able to see if they have themselves all figured out. I wonder what they see when they look at me? Behind the almost completely grown out red hair half way covered with a green bandanna, and the black left over makeup under my eyes taking the attention away from the blue that in summer sunshine makes them even more bright than usual. Past the biting of my chapped lips, and playing with my septum ring, and the black tank-top covered in white, gray, orange, and black cat hair... what do they see, think, wonder, feel about me? Maybe, just maybe they can't figure themselves out, and wonder if I have.
On the other hand, maybe no one is staring at me, maybe I'm just some coffee drinker typing away on her computer.