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Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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listening to "Priscilla Ahn - Dream (Official Video)" on Blip [Feb. 27th, 2010|12:49 pm]
[music | Ahn - Dream (Offi]

I love this song more than anything on Earth
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Listen to my station on Blip.fm! on Blip [Feb. 27th, 2010|12:47 pm]
[music |http://blip.fm/invite/snurtch]

Listen to my station on Blip.fm!
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(no subject) [Apr. 7th, 2009|03:11 pm]
Once upon a time there a girl with beautiful strawberry-blonde hair, blue eyes, and little freckles on her nose. She was happy, go lucky, up beat, fearless, lovable, and free from all the pain in the land in with she lived. She had a mother who loved her oh so much, however worked all time... Lucky for the little girl she had an amazing step-father who loved her as his own, and was there through all the trials and troubles of the little girls life.
Then he died.
Now there is a girl with dyed hair, drunken eyes, and a pierced nose. She is a loner, confused, alone, fearful of everything the world has to offer, and full of pain that she was left with.
It never got better.
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I may never know [Aug. 5th, 2008|07:55 am]
As of late I have come to the realization that I may never "figure" myself out. Thinking about this now consumes my life, to the point that staying up for 3 days without ever thinking about laying my head on my pillow has become fairly routine. When I do sleep it seems to be for just a moment, normally in the late afternoon. I am such a night owl and an early bird all in one. I love watching the sunrise in the morning, and I feel that is the only thing that relieves me from all the stress that I seem to feel through the rest of my day.
People watching has become a new hobby of mine, I wonder if they ever know I'm staring at them. I never mean to be creepy, I guess I think if I stare at them long enough, I will be able to see if they have themselves all figured out. I wonder what they see when they look at me? Behind the almost completely grown out red hair half way covered with a green bandanna, and the black left over makeup under my eyes taking the attention away from the blue that in summer sunshine makes them even more bright than usual. Past the biting of my chapped lips, and playing with my septum ring, and the black tank-top covered in white, gray, orange, and black cat hair... what do they see, think, wonder, feel about me? Maybe, just maybe they can't figure themselves out, and wonder if I have.
On the other hand, maybe no one is staring at me, maybe I'm just some coffee drinker typing away on her computer.
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Sagittarius [Feb. 11th, 2008|01:50 am]
The LEO says that this month I will have a knack for getting things to do what they supposedly can't do. I'll be at the peak of my ability to perform amusing tricks, pull off good mischief, and accomplish odd little miracles.
Ya, okay, that sounds about right so far.
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hair and septum [Feb. 10th, 2008|11:59 pm]
Weird is the only way to decribe the day that I happened to fall into yesterday.

I woke up and wanted to get my hair cut, so I did and then what do all people do after they cut their hair? They get their septum pierced sillies.

So then I go into my new job where they happen to be pretty busy which is not normal therefore I didn't get to chill with people. My ex-fiancé walks in and I freaked the fuck out.

if none of that sounds that weird...try waking up in the morning the next day and having coffee with your roommate who you realize just got their septum pierced yesterday an hour before you did.

WTF mate?!!!
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One day I will be strong. [Jan. 28th, 2008|07:50 pm]
[Current Location |My moms house]
[music |Weather you fall- Tracy Bonham]

If I were to tell everyone the story of my mothers life, some would be shocked, some would be amazed, and some would cry.
My mother has been a model for a ski club, a cop, an owner of a bar and club named whiskey creek, a wal-mart cashier, and finally an accountant for Yum! Brands Inc.
My mother had two miscarriages before she had me, and even then almost lost me when she was caring for her mother who was dying of cancer. My grandmother never held me in her arms. My grandfather held me once before he past.
My mother has been married technically twice, technically because the third was taken away before there could be "I do's". My mothers first wedding was on the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California. The second wedding (to my father) was in a small church in Wellington, Kansas. The third that never happened was to an amazing man named Dwayne. My mother called him her soul mate. He died of cancer soon after asking my mother to marry him.
My mother had Hepatitis C for about a year, and has had cancer five different times. Breast cancer when she was caring for Dwayne while he was dying. Breast cancer again after he died. Skin cancer in her leg when we first moved to Kentucky. Skin cancer in her back about 3 years later, and as of 4days ago Skin cancer in her arm.
I know I shouldn't worry, or be scared because my mother is a very strong person, and I know everything will be fine. I know shes not going anywhere yet, because...she still has so much more to teach me. One day I will be as strong as her, but not anytime soon.
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Rufer [Jun. 16th, 2007|10:58 pm]
Stop by the house.
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Paint it Black [Jun. 6th, 2007|07:13 pm]
Black is the color. Pictures to come.
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(no subject) [Jun. 3rd, 2007|12:51 pm]
[Current Location |1333 Rufer Ave.]
[mood |Pure Bliss]

I am out of the apartment I once called home. My home where the I spent the past year being in love with a man who I thought I would once marry and have children with, a man who beat my friends, and walls. A man who fucked not only my roommate, but my good friend, and 3 other dumb fucks. My home where I never wanted to leave and became very depressed. I went as far away as I could, and everything is getting better.

Stevi, Austin, Cassy, Kristina, Tom, and I all have a house together on Rufer Ave. It is a very loving, and happy home. He have an amazing tree in the front yard to climb, a nice sized roof to lay on and look up at the stars as all the fireflys dance around you. A puppy who loves to play in his backyard, and a kitten who is always making everyone giggle.

Everything is still in the works, and once everything is together we stall have a party. Until then we will just be listening to music while sitting on our stoop outside talking and getting to know everything about one another.

Some people say moving into relationships to fast to scarry. I love it. Everyday I spend with Cassy I care about her more and more, and everynight as we fall asleep with my arm around her, for a moment I am sad because I know morning will come and I will have to let her go.

Pictures of Cassy, Bailey, and House are to come.
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